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Kyouya
02 May 2009 @ 08:46 pm
....

Somehow, I just knew I picked a bad time to come back.

Kyouya, Diabolo fandom, resident mindreader and pervert extraordinaire. Oh, and I sold my soul to Satan. How's that for a good, solid reintroduction~?
 
 
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
 
 
Kyouya
28 December 2008 @ 10:06 pm
And it's almost New Year's.

Let's~ see if I've got anything new to report. Huh.

1. Ren disappeared again, which goes to show that I have the worst luck ever with blonds. I hope another one of him doesn't show up, frankly, 'cause I'm getting sick of repeatedly convincing the poor dude to move in with me only to have him drop off the face of the earth just~ a couple months in. Karma sucks. But~ onward and downward. The sinners are much more fun. I'm thinking of giving Tsu-chan a ring or two, just for old time's sake. See if she can't give me a discount.

2. The threesome upstairs that I frequently spy on is~ thankfully doing well. You should've heard them Christmas morning, I swear. "Oh, Mahiro-chan~*~*~ you shouldn't have" and "Oh, I'll put this on right here..." Fantastic. >D I made sure to drop off a cake for them on Christmas Eve. Figured they deserved it, even if they didn't know it.


And 3. Somehow, I ended up invited into the oh-so-sacred~ halls of my mom's house for Christmas dinner.

I went, 'cause despite any and all~ appearances the bitch that is my mother is still unfortunately my mother. And I might be her bastard child, but damn it, I'm still her child. Only child. Or so I thought until I got out of the fucking taxi and into the house.

And was greeted by my mom carrying her three-week old kid around. "Oh, Kyouya. This is your sister, Ayumi!"

"...."

I was torn, man. About~ six thoughts crossed my mind, one of which was "why the hell didn't you tell me this sooner," another of which was "I was hoping by 40 you'd've gone through premature menopause or~ something," another of which was "she doesn't look anything like you," etc. But the one that I ended up saying was "Mom, why'd you name her after a pop singer."

That did it. Mom exploded. >D The whole you're-good-for-nothing-you-think-everything-is-a-joke-why-did-I-invite-you-your-stepfather-insisted-I-bet-you-haven't-even-gotten-a-nice-girl-yet-and-you-live-in-that-ratty-apartment-even-now... I let her go on a couple minutes before I nodded, waved at the kid, and went home. >D Better luck next time, eh?
 
 
Current Mood: cynicalcynical
 
 
Kyouya
Thanks for the space heater, Winry, I was absolutely~ to the point of freezing. And thanks for the pie.

But moving on. New people, I'm Kyouya from Diabolo, resident devil and mindreader extraordinaire, and so on and so forth. Anyhow, I bear the news that the lesbians upstairs have added a third group member, only she has acne. I'm thinking about giving her some prescription meds, 'cause oh my fucking God, she'd probably be hot if her face didn't look like a cross between the surface of the moon and the surface of your average~ supreme pizza. >D Anyway, it still makes for amusing times.

More importantly~ I found this dude, bamfmittens. You may know him as the kid that keysmashes a lot but I know him as the kid in desperate need of a romantic tryst life lesson lot of sex boyfriend/girlfriend/somebody to love.

Which is fine by me. I have experience in that area (see: petit_shinigami, who thanks to my demonic intervention, is now so enamoured with her butcher knife boy that she left Brawl in order to polish his knife more often ♥). Mindreading makes for perfect matchmaking skills, am I right? I like to think so. >D So I looked around a bit, made a little list of people he ought to date in his search to find the one person to take his virginity. I mean, become an item with. Date seriously. Whatever~

You may be on this listCollapse )

Clearly, if you were not on this list, a) you weren't hot enough for my standards, b) you haven't been around~ enough for me to have seen you, c) I thought your boyfriend might kill me if I put you on, d) I can't think of you sexually (which is quite the feat considering I think of just about everyone sexually. You should probably be ashamed), e) you're underage or~ f) you were pregnant. >D

You can thank me later, Tsuna~
 
 
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
 
 
Kyouya
23 November 2008 @ 01:41 pm
So it's been awhile, eh~? Sorry, sorry, I'd like to fucking see you try to convince the electrician to, you know, not turn off my electricity. I was tempted to start in with the blackmailing mindfuck (the dude had some serious issues the authorities and his wife ought to've been informed of, man. His ideal sexual roleplay was as the Chewbacca to some~ poor pitiful twelve year old soul's Princess Leia. I kid you not.), but in the end my pseudo-morality won out and after a couple of colorful~ yet threatening protests, my internet, phone, microwave, fridge, clock radio, lights, etc. were all rendered useless for the space of a couple weeks there. Tragedy~

But at any rate. Judging from the state of my f-list at the moment half of you are psychos and the other half of you are little kids. Just don't take candy from strangers. >D Anyway, it's that time of year again.

... For those weirdos in America. Poor things. And I'm gonna risk getting myself a public lynching and offer up a

THANKFULNESS MEME

Comment with what you're thankful for. Personally~ I'm thankful for such run-of-the-mill things as~ being alive and not currently in a hospital, my boyfriend, my family, the existence of lesbians, the existence of Lene, the fact that my mom hasn't bitched me out in three months, and so on. >D
 
 
Current Mood: goodgood
 
 
Kyouya
14 November 2008 @ 07:49 pm
Before I forget to make this post 'cause I'm writing essays and stuff. Comment here with your addy for a real Christmas card from Kyouya (mindreader_eh) or Kira (totally_am_kira) or Inspector Gadget (imalwaysonduty). I'll also do any dropped characters you want (that'd be... Hiromi (comps_are_life), Ruka (believemiracles), Michiru (ocean_senshi), and Ami (genius_senshi).

You can request cards from two or more characters, they'll just be in the same envelope.

Apologies in advance for all characters' sucky handwriting, their flowery stationary, Kyouya's profuse tendency to curse, etc.

Oh, and make sure you put in which character you want it sent to and stuff! And whether or not you want it actually addressed to your character or to you, and all of that. Comments are screened!
 
 
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
 
 
 
Kyouya
07 November 2008 @ 11:03 pm
*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~BEHOLD... MY FUTURE.

I'll never get married, I'll settle down in hell in a fabulous~ condominum, have no kids, zoom around in a fucking Ford Pinto with a spacecar extension, spend my days as a mindreader-for-hire, and live happily ever after.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*!!!!!!!

Honestly, people.
 
 
Current Mood: guiltyguilty
 
 
Kyouya
21 October 2008 @ 05:43 pm
Right, right, right~ so Halloween's still coming up and much as the very thought~ depresses the hell out of me, the guy I was gonna make dress up as a pretty pretty princess... no longer lives with me.

No one mention the disaster.

But tragedies've got to be borne, and borne well, eh? And I realized I had like a lot of Brawl people still to work with if~ answers to the Halloween meme are any~ indication. Some of you have no fucking imagination and zero~ holiday spirit. Take it from an ex-haunted house worker who spent every weeknight in October in danger of falling to his undignified death in tights and tap shoes and enough talcum powder to make the undead come back to life.

You people do not know how to celebrate. >D

So my thought is, all you people who still don't know how you're gonna be dressed up as--

I have some suggestions. All of which are very~ equal-opportunity. Wake up and smell the crossdressing, eh?Collapse )
 
 
Current Mood: chipperchipper
 
 
Kyouya
I got an email from Scrabulous that told me as one of the most devoted players on-site (500 games and~ counting), I ought to be the first to know they'd had to change their name to Lexulous due to copyright infringement. Bastards.

Halloween's coming up. >D Time for copious~ amounts of cruddy candy corn, chocolate bars, and assorted junk like that. There's always at least fifty bratty kids around who end up at the apartment yelling "TRICK OR TREAT, KYOUYA!"

I keep trying to teach them how to tilde in their speech, but their parents think I'm a bad enough influence as it is. Oh my fucking God, it's almost like they check the candy I give them the second they close the door. My nonexistent reputation precedes me.

But~ that's not important. I need to know how many volunteers I can get to make my favorite~ roommate ever dress up as a pretty pretty princess. Who's with me, eh? >D Will pay for aid in convincing him he was made~ for the role. He's a little shy.

We've got a couple weeks to worry about measurements, a flattering~ fit, etc. In the meantime, a funny thing happened on the way to the grocery store. Storytime, boys and girls.

Universal Support, or I Should Stop Meeting Classmates Everywhere I GoCollapse )
 
 
Current Mood: awakeawake
 
 
Kyouya
03 October 2008 @ 07:17 pm
Woo-hoo. I'm Kyouya, Diabolo fandom, black hair, brown eyes, five-nine, too-skinny, everyone's favorite psychic-- oh, damn it, this wasn't a list of vital statistics, was it? 'Sup to the new people and sorry I haven't~ been around much for your masochistic pleasure lately. But you can't get rid of me totally, eh? University applications have been calling my name lately. Even if the only thing I can put down for extracurriculars is the GSA 'cause apparently being an ex-cult member won't grant me any brownie points. Oh, well~

Anyway, me and Haru're running the Seinfeld Bet right now and~ thus far... no one's out yet that I can tell (I don't think~ I skipped over anybody hot). Never mind, Bobby lost~. And so did Yuuri! And I've been watching. >D Waiting~ for that miserable instant where you just can't take it anymore. Hands, meet jeans zipper, meet-- well, you know how the rest of it goes, eh? Or you should. Obviously you guys have a hell of a lot more self-control than I ever~ gave you credit for.

For now. >D Good luck to everyone and all that, and remember that sabotage is perfectly~ legal.
 
 
Current Mood: amusedamused
 
 
Kyouya
14 September 2008 @ 10:16 pm
Oh, my fucking God, I have never~ seen things this dead before. I'd hope it was 'cause half of you died, but luckily enough, despite any and all appearances I actually like people.

Maybe you're comatose. There's a thought to warm the coldest heart.

Went for a first lesson in ballroom dancing with Belphegor, who~ was incredibly gracious, as expected, and even let me try to lead (for about five seconds). Movie-watched with Haine. And Ren's birthday factored in somewhere in there, too. >D One more year without the devil taking our souls for his gorgeous little collection.

.... Wait a minute.

Anyway, I'd blame the pot smoker for this thought but he moved out of the apartment upstairs awhile back.

But I realized that I couldn't describe what Coke tastes like. Tastes like... well~, Coke, right? The ingredients list is absolutely no help, either.

So tell me what it tastes like, eh?
 
 
Current Mood: boredbored